The Diligent Bob

As a reminder, Bob is my bodyguard. He told me yesterday that he has killed four people. As a young sergeant in the Philippine war against the Moro Islamic Liberation Front, his patrol came under fire from Muslim insurgents -- for five hours he and his companion crouched behind a bombed out wall, trading shouted insults with the Muslims ("Fuck you! Come out here, you coward!" "No, fuck you!" "Rat tat tat tat!" -- Bob's powers of eloqution are, as ever, exemplary). Five hours. Finally the Muslims, three of them after all, got fed up and fled. In some kind of jubilant Rambo-esque move, Bob and his friend popped out of their wall and mowed them all down with their AK-47s. Muslim warriors in the southern island of Mindanao ritually taste the fresh blood of those they slay in a gesture of disrespect -- Bob made it a point to tell me that he returned the favor.

Bob is one of the most diligent and patient people I have ever met. It does not surprise me that he was able to wait out the Muslims -- indeed, he spends most of his day waiting. Waiting, waiting, and waiting. Waiting for me to do all sorts of things -- watch movies, work out for hours, eat, work, ramble on the phone; driving me everywhere, escorting me everywhere, rarely speaking, rarely offering anything except respectful advice or a quip about the traffic. Bob has a pregnant wife in the Laguna Province about 3 hours from Manila. He gets to see her once every two or three months. He told me that if he ever earns $2000, he will be able to start a rice farm and retire with his family forever. Until then, he is stuck waiting around, guarding small fish like me who don't really need guarding. A tragic life by Western standards, but, like most people here, he seems to have gotten used to it. After all, I pay for his food and cigarettes.

If you recall, Bob said he killed four people. Three were the Muslims. The fourth tried to go after one of Bob's bosses with a butterfly knife -- "I shot him three times -- two in the head and one in the chest. Blam blam blam!"

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